Джон купер кларк стихи
Обновлено: 07.07.2024
(I Married A) Monster From Outer Space
The milky way she walks around
All feet firmly off the ground
Two worlds collide, two worlds collide
Here comes the future bride
Gimme a lift to the lunar base
I wanna marry a monster from outer space
I fell in love with an alien being
Whose skin was jelly - whose teeth were green
She had the big bug eyes and the death-ray glare
Feet like water wings - purple hair
I was over the moon - I asked her back to my place
Then I married the monster - from outer space
The days were numbered - the nights were spent
In a rent free furnished oxygen tent
When a cyborg chef served up moon beams
Done super rapid on a laser beam
I needed nutrition to keep up the pace
When I married the monster from outer space
In a cybernetic fit of rage
She pissed off to another age
She lives in 1999
With her new boyfriend - a blob of slime
Each time I see her translucent face
I remember the monster from outer space
Two-tone stretch nylon yellow stripes on navy blue
I got a brand new track suit
I got the old one too
I got the old one too
I got a new track suit
I wear it every day
Keeps me cool and casual
I wore it yesterday
Wearing my brand new track suit
Medicine ball to boot
Knee pads, an airline bag
And the overall smell of Brut
The overall smell of Brut
Two-tone stretch nylon yellow stripes on navy blue
I got a new track suit
I got the old one-two
I got the old one-two
36 hours in the mystery chair
36 hours in the quizzical glare
Of the naked lights and the visible hardware
Another bloke is leaving in a wheelchair
No joke, here comes the punchline
Lights out. sack time
Twat
Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here. wear this polythene bag.
People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.
Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race
You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide.
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.
You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.
Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.
What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can.
Twat.
In the mindless misfits mohair sweaters
Poison pens and begging letters
Finger bells - ding ding ding
Like they was in some sort of sling
Paidback - with just one look
A prayer wheel and a big fat book
Tells you not to be clever but clean
And close to the real meaning of the beans
The Three Stooges - the four just men
The Magnificent Seven - the terrible ten
Lord Rockinghams Eleven and the Famous Five
Three Men in a Boat - the good lady wives
Twelve apostles and the iddlers three
Ten Green Bottles and the Three Degrees
And all the oval teenage beauty queens
Crying about everything but - spilt beans
EVIDENTLY CHICKEN TOWN
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